It’s like the real-life Celebrity Apprentice in Washington, DC right now and it is just a clusterfuck over there. The Cheeto Satan White House got more turnover than a waffle maker. The latest casualty in Mango Mussolini’s administration is Anthony Scaramucci, who only lasted 10 DAYS before he got the ax.
I’ve played Monopoly games that lasted longer than Scaramucci had this job. Well, actually, he hadn’t even officially started as the Communications Director. His start date was August 15. This broham didn’t get fired on his day off. HE HADN’T EVEN BEGAN YET. This is in a week where his wife filed for divorce and he missed the birth of his child. The Mooch is having the worst week EVER.
But like, nobody lasts in the Drumpf house. Everyone’s basically like:
“I’m working at a temp agency now.”
“The White House.”
People who are fired from Tang Tyrant’s administration should get together and write an anthology called “We ain’t even get benefits first.” Since Scaramucci ain’t stay long enough to get benefits, he can sign up for… OBAMACARE. HIYOOOOO.
Phew! Anywho, HR gotta be exhausted! All this paperwork they’ve had to do for nothing.
Of course LuvvNation had something to say about all these shenanigans on my Awesomely Luvvie Facebook page and I hollered!
Janet: I’ve got leftovers in my fridge that have been there longer.
Bev: Milk has longer shelf life than these WH jobs!
Juliette: They should start scheduling exit interviews during new hire orientation…
Nashville: On the application …. Question. 1. When can you start ?” Question 2 How would you like to be notified of your termination ? 1. Email 2. Twitter or 3. Your ID denied at the security desk.
Raven: Can someone investigate how much all these background checks and confirmations costs? Not to mention these family business trip travels and weekly weekend get aways to Florida.
Sue: I think you’re assuming they do background checks.
Raven: Touche. You’re right. Very presumptuous of me.
Latarsha: Accounts Payable don’t even bother cutting him a check; they just take some money out they wallet and give it to him as he’s walking out the door.
Emme: “Petty” cash finally earns its name! LOL
Aeisha: I KNOW that Janice from HR is on Xanax by this point….these fools getting fired during orientation…
Luvvie: LMAO JANICE IS STRESSED AF.
Aeisha: Janice is tiiiiirrreeeddd and about to take some PTO
Luvvie: And you know they still gon call her while she’s off b/c some epic bullshit will happen. Janice gon quit next week.
Aeisha: Janice is day drinking and writing her resignation at her desk cause she cant take too much more…this merry- go-round of employment is causing her ulcers…cant finish her lunch in peace.
Luvvie: Janice is like “these hoes don’t pay me near enough.”
C.M.: Hell Janice is about to need HR…dis tuuuu much. She gotta do separation paperwork every 2 days AND go for unemployment hearings cause won’t no body else come on board.
Aeisha: “Work in the WH” they said, “It’ll be fun” they said, “You’re in HR you’ll push papers all day” they said…Janice is about to start punching people if ONE more person doesn’t make it past 30 days.
Myra: Janice got that “who gonna make it the longest” pool going. Y’all know she wins every week.
Denise: They ain’t handing out ID cards anymore, just those paper stickers that say “Hi My Name Is” with a RED stamp that says VISITOR!
Eve: He didn’t even qualify for health insurance yet.
Emme: Hasn’t even turned in all the paperwork in the new hire packet LOL
Denise: Comey: I got fired via twitter, on a business trip, and had to hitchhike a ride home on a chartered plane! Scaramucci: Hold my beer 🍻!
Elisa: Shit, I have have left overs in my fridge longer than Mooch stuck at the WH. Side note, his official start date was August 15th. It must have been murder chasing that U-Haul down the street to come back for his shit.
Janet: I’ve been on the phone with Comcast longer than this guy lasted.
Dennis: Try to apply for a mortgage or car note working at the WH and they’ll tell you, “Come back when you have full time employment.”
Dave: As a friend said, if you get hired by this White House and move to DC, rent, don’t buy.
Luvvie: Don’t even rent. Sublet.
Sharvon: With a 10 day turnaround, better off doing AirBnB
Phoebe: Just bring an RV
Luvvie: In fact, don’t even move. Just come in once a week.
Janet: I’ve had menstrual periods that lasted longer than Mooch.
Jackie: OrangeCheeto is repealing and replacing everything but Obamacare😂😂😂
Kwanda: They probably aren’t even laminating those ID tags no mo’.
Uzo: SNL hasn’t even finished casting the actor to play him…
Aeisha: The WH has officially become the MCDONALD’S of the free world…my daughters have kept Barbie shoes longer than these train wrecks have worked….cant even get that training check.
Latifah: HR all in the confusion. They not even working lol… they don’t even do the intro speech and tour anymore. They be like: here’s your packet, let’s just wait on the rest. You may not be here long enough to get you a name plate.
Denise: They don’t have time for the background checks, they up in there like, we can barely check references.
Angie: It’s like the lifecycle of a fruit fly up in that place!
Nana: The only thing Scaramucci lasted longer than is homemade guacamole.
Katya: I’ve seen a Facebook dragging last longer than this dude.
Lakia: Ya’ll know Cheeto Satan doesn’t have an HR department. He just send out text messages and Twitter updates.
Anthony: Like, the Mooch really just had a child, got a divorce then fired in his first week of work. I’m never feeling bad about myself again
Shantel: “This is Becky, she’ll be giving you a Welcome Tour it will take 20 minutes, then Security will take your employee badge & escort you off the premises.”
Felice: MAY THE ODDS BE IN YOUR FAVOR. up next Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Apples: Somewhere on a beach far away, Obama is sitting somewhere drinking beer and laughing via text with Biden.
Elisa: I wonder if Mooch had to fire himself. Welp, the Trump shit show is now being shown in IMAX and Preibus an Spicer are splitting popcorn and a box of raisinettes laughing their asses off.
Monique: Somehow I doubt HR is even completing paperwork on new hires anymore. They just give them necessary access and hold all info in a file near a shredder.
Cara: I think they have instituted a policy of not processing paperwork before 90 days. Everybody is probationary.
Dennis: When you get hired at the WH you get a white badge with no picture so the badge can be recycled for the next hire lol
Elisa: WH applications are now made of the same material dry erase boards are made of.
Rhea: To save time, WH conducts entry and exit interviews in the same meeting.
Amanda: They must be fresh out of Welcome Packets.
Eve: Home Depot is going to install a revolving door on the WH…
Shante: Somebody in the CNN comment section said they have higher turnover than a call center. *dead*
Annie: Spicy and Reince should rock “I told y’all” or “Miss me Yet?” T-shirts all week. Or just get photographed sipping tea in front of the White House gates 😆😆
Linda: I have gotten more of a work out watching these fools drag their shit in and out of the WH than I have in the gym this week and that’s saying something!
Tainette: One on my friends said the White House has more turnover than Target lol
Taneika: They’ll be posting job positions on Craigslist under “Gigs” next 😂
Tamara: Chile, that Tang infused lace front of his is hanging on stronger than his staff & Cabinet.
Shantel: “Honey, I got offer a job at the White House, no need to pack & sell the house, I’ll be back Friday.”
Viola: HR on 7/27…”Please setup Mr. Scaramucchi’s, desktop, email, access for the phones and voicemail.”
HR on 7/31…”Please disregard.”
Gerri: At this point HR is not processing you until you pass the 6 month mark, guy. Just fill out this time sheet weekly for now.
Aeisha: “If you don’t fill out the weekly time sheets properly…YOU WILL NOT GET PAID. I cant stress this enough people…” – Janice, HR
Tracy: Like working for a temp agency. Can’t even claim unemployment.
Lydia: As an HR person, I can tell you that every single one of these fools would not only have been fired by now for these shenanigans if they worked in the “real” world, they also would’ve been sued…and lost.
Bridget: I’m feeling as tho there’s no HR. Can you imagine the investigations they would be doing?!
Tiffany: Was his paperwork even processed!???
Penman: Was he even there long enough for direct deposit to start? Forget 90 day probation you got 2 weeks ni**a. This wacko has turned The White House into a startup company.
Angela: The HR dept is just the security guard who will hand you a small notepad and one Papermate pen on your way in and a box on your way out.
Amy: I’m applying. Maybe my name will throw them off, and I will get an interview. Covfefe the eff out that office.
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